Recap of Spring Season Closer

On May 17, Sick Town’s adult and junior travel teams closed out our spring season with a pair of victories.
(All photos used by permission from Pat Kight, photographer)
The Deathascopes — the travel team of our Candy Stripers Junior Derby group — faced the Southern Oregon Roller Girls’ junior team. It was a first for both teams — the Deathascopes’ first full home bout, and the SORG juniors’ first bout ever.
Deathascope jammers Gal of Fray and Rose quickly put 75 points on the scoreboard. The SORG girls played with a lot of heart and a never-say-die attitude, but the more-experienced Deathascopes dominated the first half.
The coaches, referees, and crowd were all touched by the sportswomanship the Deathascopes showed: the skaters waiting on the bench loudly cheered on the SORG jammers. Even the skaters on the track gave sincere encouragement to their opponents.
At halftime, the coaches and players agreed to mix the SORG and Deathascope skaters, and all of the junior skaters had a great time playing together.
For the second bout of the evening, Sick Town’s S*M*A*S*H Unit took on a mixed team from the Emerald City Roller Girls of Eugene. The ECRG team included travel team skaters, home team skaters, and a few skaters who were playing in their first bout.
Although the ECRG team scored first, SMASH took over almost immediately, and the rest of the bout belonged to the Sick Town ladies. SMASH used strong teamwork and quality blocking and jamming to handily win its final bout of the season.
When we come back in September, Sick Town will have three new home teams! This is an exciting step for our league, and we’ll have much more to say about it in the next few months, so keep an eye on this website!

Stars and Skates – a bout on January 18!

You all may remember that we canceled our season finale bout last December due to the uncharacteristic snow storm we received here in the Mid-Willamette Valley.  Well, we’ve rescheduled the bout and are happy to kick off the 2014 Season this coming Saturday at the Linn County Fair & Expo!

Our S*M*A*S*H Unit will take on Lava City Roller DollsMoulin Bruise.  This is the first time these two teams have met on the track, and we expect a good show.

Doors open – 5:00pm
Bout starts – 6:00pm

Appearances by Candy Stripers Junior Derby skaters. The Corvallis An Daire Academy of Irish Dance will perform before the bout starts (about 5:40pm), and hold a 50/50 raffle. The winning ticket takes home 50% of the money raised; the Irish Dancers take the other 50%.

This family-friendly event is all ages. As always, we’ll have food vendors, a beer garden provided by Ninkasi Brewing and 2 Towns Ciderhouse, sweet treats by Wildflour Confectionery, a merch table, a kids’ craft table, half-time fun, and more!

Advance tickets will be available at The Uprise skate shop in Corvallis, and JP’s JP’s Restaurant and Lounge in Albany.


Visit Brown Paper Tickets to purchase advance tickets.

RSVP at our Facebook Event Page for updates.


2013 Holiday Party and Award Ceremony

2013 Board of Directors.  Front Row- Rad Snarlz, Meat Candy, Scarlett Harlett, Stitches N Bones!, Way-Laid.  Back Row: Wilde Hysteria, HotBoxxx, Dixle Skullpopper, Frankie Stein, Syd Rock, Pain Cake, Land Tuna, Ms. Kitty LaRue

2013 Board of Directors. Front Row- Rae Snarlz, Meat Candy, Scarlett Harlett, Stitches N Bones!, Way-Laid. Back Row – Wilde Hysteria, HotBoxxx, Dixie Skullpopper, Frankie Stein, Syd Rock, Pain Cake, Land Tuna, Ms. Kitty LaRue

We had a lot to celebrate at our annual holiday party last month! Our league is growing by leaps and bounds thanks to our new Boot Camp program; our two teams are going strong; and we are now skating in our very own home[old 'Roll and Bounce' skating rink just north of Corvallis]. Sick Town had an amazing 2013, and we capped it off with a disco-themed party and some well-deserved awards.
2013 Trainers - HotBoxxx, CosMo Pain, Dixie Skullpopper, Shankee Doodle, Syd Rock, Land Tuna, Stitches N Bones!

2013 Trainers – HotBoxxx, CosMo Pain, Dixie Skullpopper, Shankee Doodle, Syd Rock, Land Tuna, Stitches N Bones!

In addition to recognizing all of the people who served the league this year — coaches, captains, trainers, board members, referees, and volunteers — we also gave awards that were voted on by the training committee, the teams, and the membership.
2013 Officials - Ren Stoek, Bad Daddy, CoRexHer

2013 Officials – Ren Stoek, Bad Daddy, CoRexHer

The training committee chose two skaters to recognize: Rae Snarlz as most improved, and Lubri-Kate as the fresh meat skater to watch out for. Snarlz has improved her confidence and stability, and has become one of the Dis-Orderlies’ go-to jammers. Lube completed boot camp and immediately showed that she’s a force to be reckoned with at fresh meat practices. We expect great things from both of these ladies!
2013 Officials - Sugar Cain, Naughty Hottie, Brazen Hussy, Udder Chaos, Lady V

2013 Officials – Sugar Cain, Naughty Hottie, Brazen Hussy, Udder Chaos, Lady V

 The Dis-Orderlies chose Block Jawz as MVP Blocker, and Witha Vengeance as MVP Jammer. Vengie is on S*M*A*S*H now, but she was a true asset to the DOs! Jawz is an up-and-coming skater and a relentless blocker.
DisOrderlies - Bones! (coach), AmyZing, Way-Laid, Kyllr Kervs, Brazen Hussy, Rae Snarlz, Dixie, Meat Candy, Thash Bandiscoot, Block Jawz, Ambo, Witha Vengeance

DisOrderlies – Bones! (coach), AmyZing, Way-Laid, Kyllr Kervs, Brazen Hussy, Rae Snarlz, Dixie, Meat Candy, Thash Bandiscoot, Block Jawz, Ambo, Witha Vengeance

The S*M*A*S*H Unit chose Pwnface Killa as MVP Blocker. A former team captain, Pwn is on a break from derby but we hope she’ll be back! The vote for MVP Jammer was evenly split between two amazing ladies, Stitches N Bones! and Miss Kitty LaRue. This could be the start of a friendly rivalry …
Front Row - Shankee Doodle, Land Tuna, Syd Rock, Luna Tix, Bones!, Swagger Jackie, Mutha Tucker, Pain Cake, Witha Vengeance.  Back Row - Risky Reignbow, Pwn Face Killa, HotBoxxx, Frankie Stein, Dylan Quint, Ms. Kitty LaRue, Wilde Hysteria

Front Row – Shankee Doodle, Land Tuna, Syd Rock, Luna Tix, Bones!, Swagger Jackie, Mutha Tucker, Pain Cake, Witha Vengeance. Back Row – Risky Reignbow, Pwn Face Killa, HotBoxxx, Frankie Stein, Dylan Quint, Ms. Kitty LaRue, Wilde Hysteria

Finally, the league voted on some fun awards. Miss Sick Town Derby Dames — an award for the skater who supports the league the most — went to Clucker Punch. Best Dressed went to Phoenix Stark. Scariest Bout Day Face was Bloodstain. Most True to Her Derby Name was Sunny With a Chance of Pain. Biggest Mouth (on the track) was Stitches N Bones!, and finally, the Bruiser Award (for the most inappropriate skater) was given to Block Jawz, with a surprise appearance by the award’s namesake, Back Alley Bruiser.
Sick Town loves karaoke!

Sick Town loves karaoke

We all ate too much, danced until our feet hurt, and got fired up for a fantastic 2014. Many thanks to all of the volunteers who made this party happen!
Special thanks to MacGroovy for all the photos.  And to his lovely wife for being so fantastic!

Special thanks to MacGroovy for all the photos. And to his lovely wife for being so fantastic!

S*M*A*S*H Unit Skater of the Month – Swagger Jackie #H8


Sunny: How long have you been derbying? Gimme the deets!

Swagger Jackie: I have been derbying for close to 3 years already! Boy, does the time fly. I was an OG on Lava City’s Junior Roller derby team (based out of Bend, OR). I not only played with my two sisters, I was coached by my Mom, while my Dad refereed! I absolutely fell in love with the sport immediately and the fact that it was something I could do with my family made it all the better.

Sunny: What keeps you going, physically or mentally?

Swagger Jackie: I would say that my drive to be the best in everything I do keeps me going. I took nearly 10 months off of derby after I moved away for college. When I made my return, my endurance was not nearly at the level it used to be. My knowledge of strategy, rules etc. had also fallen by the wayside and so I think knowing the skater I used to be pushes me to not only get back to where I was, but surpass it.

Sunny: Favorite aspects of roller derby?

Swagger Jackie: The fact that it is for EVERYONE! Anyone who knows me knows that I can’t play sports to save my life. I’m also not good at branching out and making friends. Derby showed me that I CAN be athletic, and good at a sport. It also has allowed me to meet some of the most kick ass girls (and guys too!) that I would have never had the pleasure of meeting if I hadn’t joined derby.

Sunny: Story behind your name?

Swagger Jackie:  Oh man…. As a junior skater, I was Bridget Pwnz on the track (a spin-off of Bridget Jones.) As I was getting closer and closer to my 18th birthday, I realized that someone had not only registered my name… but also my number on the name registry. And they lived in Oregon! I was so mad… I had been skating as Bridget for over a year, and when I had come up with it, it was not registered. That woman had jacked my name! As my family and I joked about how I was “swagger jacked” we came up with Swagger Jackie. What’s the ultimate hate? To jack someone’s “swag”… hence my number: H8.

Sunny: Loved ones’ reactions to your derby involvement?

Swagger Jackie:  They loved it! My mom and I joined close to the same time… a few months later, both sisters were playing with me, and my dad was a ref! It’s the first time we’ve all found a common hobby that we enjoy, and I think it’s awesome how close we all are. We’re lifers.

Sunny:  Favorite unintended consequence of derby in your life?

Swagger Jackie:  To get totally cheesy… I would have to say meeting CoREXher. He is not just by teacher and my friend, but also my boyfriend. And I love him so very much. It’s nice that we can be totally obsessed with derby together.

Sunny:  How has roller derby changed your perspective on life or yourself?

Swagger Jackie:  It has made me so much more confident. I feel like I actually fit in somewhere, whereas most of my life I didn’t. It’s also shown me that it’s okay to be different, and has allowed me to really become much more open-minded. I am grateful for the realness derby brought to my life.

Sunny: Tips for new skaters or those who are thinking about getting into roller derby?

Swagger Jackie:

  • 1. No, it’s not like Whip It
  • 2. Do it.

Sick Town Welcomes The Dis-Orderlies!!!


Sick Town Derby Dames is thrilled to announce the debut of its newly-formed team, the Dis-Orderlies!  The Dis-Orderlies join the S*M*A*S*H Unit as Sick Town’s teams available for travel.

The Dis-Orderlies are composed of players who have been skating from six months to nearly four years, with ages ranging from early 20s to mid 60s. One thing they all share: a love of derby. These skaters have worked hard and are ready to play!

The team’s goal is to scrimmage other leagues twice a month, and to play challenging bouts as often as possible.  The Dis-Orderlies have two away bouts planned for 2013 (12 October vs. CCDG’s Rookies and 26 October vs. SORG; see our 2013 Schedule for more info), and hope to have a full schedule for 2014.

The Dis-Orderlies are available to bout B-level teams (including home teams) in Oregon, southwest Washington, and northern California. For more information or to schedule a bout, email

Press contact:  Dixie Skullpopper (team co-captain), 541-990-2330,

Advanced Skater of the Month – Way-Laid #22


Interview by Rollin’ Rebel # 50

Rebel: How long have you been involved in Roller Derby?

Way-Laid: I started with Sick Town last March. So…. about 15 months.

Rebel: How did you get involved in this sport?

Way-Laid: I kept seeing a sign on the way to work. Every day it would ask “Do you wanna do Roller Derby?” and I would be like “YES!” When I saw a flier for a bout I had to go. Then the info for the new skater day and the announcers talking about it convinced me that this is where I belong.

Rebel: What are your roles with Sick Town? Position, board member, part of a committee?

Way-Laid: I generally play as a blocker. I like the quick pickup of catching the jammer after she thinks she is through the pack. Off the track I work with the New Recruits Committee.

Rebel: What motivates you to put your skates on when you feel like staying home instead?

Way-Laid: My daughter. If I try to skip practice she will tell me that she is going to be a Candy Striper and I have to set a good example (insert over the top dramatization here).

Rebel: What do you enjoy about Roller Derby?

Way-Laid: I like that Derby is a lifestyle and a family. Everyone that is involved has an unwavering love for the sport. The players are supportive and encouraging. So much more so than what you would find with other sports or activities.

Rebel: Have you been involved in other competitive sports? What were they and what was your favorite?

Way-Laid: I was a varsity wrestler in high school. It was interesting being a girl trying to break into a boy’s sport.

Rebel: Please tell us a little about yourself that we normally wouldn’t know about you.

Way-Laid: I was born and raised in Small Town, USA in Northern California. The busy rush of Corvallis and Albany took some getting used to, but in ten years I am finally learning to live with all the traffic. I spend my days as an accountant. My nights are spent with the light and the love of my life: My 9 year-old daughter and my husband. In the rest of my free time I hike, bike, garden, and eat. nommmnommnomm.

S*M*A*S*H Unit – A Farewell to Ninja


Sick town is losing an amazing advanced skater and I, Block Jawz, had the privilege to interview her before she moves far far away! Here are the deet’s!

What’s the story behind your name?

Well I’m kinda a quiet person (’til you get to know me). Honestly, there are times when people just don’t notice I’m there or hear me. I wanted a name that fit my personality and be cool.

Are there challenges you overcome to stay in derby?

When I first started I got several injuries consecutively that made it hard for me to stay in derby. Finding the balance of derby, working a job, and school work was a challenge.

How long have you been derbying? We want the details!

3 years in December. Silly, I started like 2 weeks before Christmas in the winter at the CDC! [the CDC, Sick Town's former practice space, was unheated.]

What’s your most notable injury?

My knee injury. I had a massive bruise and was in a leg immobilizer for several weeks.

Your derby persona would be voted Most Likely To…, while YOU would be voted Most Likely To… ?

Ill-Ninja would be voted most likely to take a challenge or jump the apex or make friends.  I would be most likely to get left behind cause I’m still in the bathroom (A pee a lot!).

Do you have any tips for new skaters or those who are thinking about getting into roller derby?

Derby is a lot of work, even more than you think; even when someone tells you it’s a lot of work. Stick to it, it will pay off in the end. Go to practice even if you’ve had the worst day of your life and want to cry; it will make a difference.

What does your future in derby look like, are you a lifer?

I am transferring to Jet City Rollergirls in Washington. I’m sure I won’t be a lifer. There will be a time when my body tells me I’m done, and I’ll move on to something different, but that won’t be for a while.

The Big O 2013 – A recap

Miss our latest tournament down in Eugene?  Read Swagger Jackie’s recap for all the details!
May 2013 marked the second annual “Big O” roller derby tournament, hosted by Eugene’s very own Emerald City Roller Dolls. Last year’s Big O, was more of a trial run, hosting some sanctioned bouts, (bouts that affect teams national rankings) and other just-for-fun type bouts, where girls from any league could team up and take on another mixed team. After much success last year, ECRD decided to up the ante this year: More tracks, more teams, more vendors, more derby. Women’s teams, men’s teams, and juniors alike would be competing this time around. Not only would they pull teams from all around the West, like the 2012 tournament… they would be going International! Teams from London, and Australia even made their way over to what local newspapers were calling “Flat Track Town USA.” One of the 24 teams in attendance, would be our very own S*M*A*S*H Unit!
S*M*A*S*H was deemed the “underdog” team before the tournament had even started…but they weren’t about to let that do anything but fuel their desire to win. STDD went into the Big O ready to prove that they were competitors. And that’s exactly what they did when they laced up their skates, and took the track against Bremerton, WA Slaughter County Roller Vixens. It was the opening bout of the tournament, and boy was it a nailbiter! As someone in the crowd, I had at least a dozen spectators ask me where STDD was from. They were shocked to know that the girls had only driven just under an hour to compete this weekend. Those who had never watched the girls in blue play before, were cheering and rooting for the “underdogs.” A crowd favorite, Ill-Ninja, ducked in and out of packs, and juked out of big sweeping hits. With more than a few lead changes the fans were on the edge of their seats, and anyone in the building was gathered around track two. No one would have guessed that Sick Town, ranked at 135 would even come within 100 points of Slaughter, ranked at 83. After many lead changes, and power jams in both teams favor, Sick town was up with only a few minutes left on the clock. In the last jam of the opening bout though, we found Sick Town’s jammer in the box and Slaughter barely pulling away with a victory. The final score: 198-210. Although this bout was a “loss,” Sick Town became the crowd favorite for the remainder of the weekend. Those who hadn’t seen them as a threat before, were in for quite the surprise!
The next day, S*M*A*S*H entered the tournament, ready to go. This time, taking on the Humboldt Roller girls, ranked 65. This would go on to be a very trying bout. Both teams showed fantastic teamwork, footwork, and strategy. Sick Town had a hard time staying out of the penalty box as the game grew more and more physical, and as Humboldt had a series of high point power jams. As Humboldt racked up the points, Sick Town got back in the game, putting a large number of unmatched points on the board, and kept the score within 70 points, further showing those who doubted Sick Town, that they were a force to be reckoned with. The final score ended up being 193 to 135 in favor of Humboldt. Sick Town continued to win the crowd’s heart with their heart, determination, and skill.
Going into the final day of the tournament, Sick Town would be taking on a team often called, “under-rated.” Treasure Valley Rollergirls, from Boise were ready for a battle. They had also come off of a loss to Humboldt the day before, and to salt the wound… it was by a single point. The bout against TVR (ranked 85,) was a bout that if had to be described in one word, would be: physical. Although they were ranked lower than that of Slaughter County, they proved that they weren’t there to mess around. TVR skater Scarlett Danger was played in heavy rotation, as she was a one-man blocking force, holding back our jammers, while TVR’s jammers racked up the points. Sick Town rarely had “four on the floor” (all blockers out of the penalty box) which was much to their detriment. But they never gave up, and the announcers and fans couldn’t get enough of our girls! A final score of 275-94 in favor of TVR ended the game, and the tournament for STDD. It was a well fought game, in which the score didn’t reflect the level of game play that STDD delivered.
All In all, it was a weekend that changed many things for S*M*A*S*H. They were a competitor that  many teams weren’t ready for, and they were ready to begin taking on teams that they had never thought they would be able to before. Not only a fan favorite of the weekend, they rolled in, played their game, and proved that they deserved to be there. Underdogs who?

SMASH of the Month: Rollin’ Rebel #50


Interview by Block Jawz

I remember the first time I was privileged enough to meet Rebel. It wasn’t long ago at an endurance practice. Intimidating is the first word that comes to mind when I think of the force I saw skating around the track. She is so strong and fast, a force to be reckoned with,  no doubt! I can say I strive for even half of what she brings to the track, so to be able to ask her questions about derby was an honor. 

Jawz: It takes a lot of dedication and determination to play roller derby. What motivates you to stick to it?

Rebel: My motivation comes from knowing this is a good chance to challenge myself and to improve every time I put my skates on.

Jawz: Everyone advances at their own pace, how long did it take you to move up the derby ladder? Have you always been a skater?

Rebel:  I was a rink rat when I was young. So I’ve had experience on skates before. However it was about 20 years before I put them on again to join roller derby. For me, it was like riding a bike. I never forgot how to skate and this is a big step in the roller derby direction. With luck I moved up the ladder pretty quickly.  It took about 3 months get my skate feet on again and learn the skills basics and the rules of derby to move up to bout pool. One month after that, I advanced up to SMASH.

Jawz: What advice do you have for anyone that is just starting derby?

Rebel:  My advice would be don’t give up!! Keep trying!! It’s hard at first to learn all the rules and details that come along with this sport. We are an elite group. Not everybody can play this sport. It’s a very physical sport and sometimes you can get hurt, but it’s the best feeling when you can get out there and exceed your limitations.

Jawz: How do you prepare for the bouts? Is there certain music or meditation you do to get you in “bout mode”?

Rebel:  When I prepare for bouts, I listen to heavy metal really loud!! I visualize knocking the other team on their collective arse, and flying around the track. Knocking the other jammer on her arse…. yeah, that’s my meditation.

Jawz: What is your favorite thing about derby in general?

Rebel:  My favorite thing about Derby is the physical contact aspect of the sport. It’s also a great workout!! The  relationship I have with my team is special. In general I’m a very antisocial person, so being a part of this sport has helped me open up to people. I have come to love my team as they are super supportive, kind, loving women.