Candy Striper Home Bout Debut + S*M*A*S*H Unit Double Header


In their first ever full-length bout on their home track, the Candy Stripers’ All-Star team, the Deathascopes, will host the Southern Oregon Rollergirls’ Juniors!  We’re so excited for this match up, we can barely contain ourselves!  These junior skaters have amazing skills, and it wont be long before they’re the super stars of our favorite sport.  The second bout in our double header will feature the Sick Town S*M*A*S*H Unit against a mystery opponent!  Stay tuned for more info on that.

Doors open @ 4:00pm

Bout starts @ 5:00pm

Tickets: $10 in advance for general admission; $13 at the door. VIP tickets (guaranteed front-row seating) are available at the door, $15.  General admission advance tickets can be upgraded to VIP at the door for $3.  Kids 5 and under free!

Volunteers get in free!  For more information or to volunteer, e-mail (must be 18+)

We’ll have our kids’ table stocked with fun activities, a 50/50 raffle, and a fully stocked merch table.  We’ll have sweet treats by Wildflour Confectionery, a beer garden by Mazama Brewing and 2 Towns Ciderhouse, and plenty of food options.

Sick Town on the Flat Track – Double Header!!!

April26_poster_color (1)


Have you been missing derby?  We certainly have!  With the crazy snow storms canceling two of our last three bouts, we’ve been itching to get back on the track.  To make up for some lost time, we’ll be hosting a double-header!  Coming up on April 26 at the Linn County Fair & Expo, both of our teams, the S*M*A*S*H Unit and the DisOrderlies, will gear up and face off against worthy opponents.

For the first bout, our DisOrderlies will face-off against the Southern Oregon Rollergirls.  The last time these two teams met, it was a very close win for SORG.  Our DisOrderlies are hoping take the win this time with the home track advantage.

Then our S*M*A*S*H Unit will take on Lava City Roller Dolls’ Smokin’ Ashes.  These two teams face off every year, and our S*M*A*S*H skaters are hoping to make this one something to remember!

This all-ages event will feature sweets by Wildflour Confectionery, a kids’ coloring table, an opportunity for the kiddos to run around during half-time, and more.  We’ll have a beer and cider station for adults, featuring 2 Towns Cider and a selection of local craft brews and familiar domestics.  Other food and beverages will also be available.

Since we have double the action for this bout, we’ll be starting earlier than usual.  We’ll open the doors at 4:00pm, and the opening ceremonies will begin at 5:00pm.  Advanced tickets are available at Uprise Skate Shop skate shop in Corvallis, or JP’s Restaurant and Lounge in Albany, or online at Brown Paper Tickets.

Tickets: $10 in advance for general admission; $13 at the door. VIP tickets (guaranteed front-row seating) are available at the door, $15.  General admission advance tickets can be upgraded to VIP at the door for $3.  Kids 5 and under free!

Volunteers get in free!  For more information or to volunteer, e-mail (must be 18+)

Fred Meyers Rewards!!!

Ever wished that you could help raise money for Sick Town just by shopping at Fred Meyer?

Well now you can! Sick Town is now enrolled in the Fred Meyer Community Rewards program.

Where Shopping & Giving Unite (from the Fred Meyers program materials)
Support your favorite nonprofit (Sick Town Derby Dames and Candy Stripers Junior Derby) just by shopping at Fred Meyer with your Rewards Card. We’re donating $2.5 million each year – up to $625,000 each quarter – to the local schools, community organizations and nonprofits of your choice. All you have to do is link your Rewards Card and use it when you shop at Fred Meyer.

Are you a Fred Meyer customer?
You are now able to link your Rewards Card to your favorite nonprofit by following the link below. Whenever you use your Rewards Card when shopping at Freddy’s, you will be helping that organization earn a donation from Fred Meyer. If you do not have a Rewards Card, you can sign up for one at the Customer Service Desk of any Fred Meyer store.

Our number for the program is: 83074

Please share with your family, friends and coworkers and everyone!

Red Dress Party 2014!

If you’ve lived in Corvallis/Albany for any length of time you’ve probably heard rumors of a large gathering of festive folks donning red dresses and dancing into the wee hours to music spun by the best DJ’s our little college town has to offer. When I first got word of this epic soiree, I found myself in a local tavern only to suddenly be wishing I had not donated my prom dress to Goodwill years ago as the after party piled in for last call.
Tired of missing out on all the fun, I attended my first Red Dress Party last year at Sub Zero. Rich in history, the Red Dress is an exercise in delicious abandon where there are few limits. Under dress, over dress, barely dress; it need only be RED. What started as a house party has evolved into a huge public event where hundreds of the area’s best dressed dive in to their sexy alter egos and shimmy and shake until the house comes down. This year, The Red Dress Party will be at the Elk’s Lodge on 9th Street in Corvallis on Friday February 21st.
As always, this party is the biggest fundraiser of the year for Sick Town Derby Dames. Entry is $10 at the door, $15 if you do not wear the required red attire. But don’t worry if your duds are less than acceptable – you’ll be accessorized by some of Sick Town’s best fashion police and you will become “one of us” in a loner red dress anyway!  But do be warned: you never know what we’ll find in our closets, and the earlier you come, the better the options ;)

Derby is Coming – A bout!



Coming up on February 08, the Sick Towns Derby Dames’ very own S*M*A*S*H Unit will be taking on the Sonoma County Roller Derby‘s All-Star Travel Team, coming all the way from The North Bay Area, CA. This is going to be an action-packed, high intensity, all-ages event!

All of our home bouts are held in the Santiam Building of the Linn County Fair & Expo!

There will be kid friendly activities, including poster-making for your favorite Sick Town Derby Dame! And fun half-time activities!

For the grown-ups there will be beverages by Ninkasi Brewing and 2 Towns Cider!

Yummy treats from Wildflour Confetionery!

Don’t forget to stop by the merch table for some awesome Sick Town swag!

Doors open at 5pm; bout starts at 6pm

For advance tickets, go to Uprise Skate Shop in Corvallis or JP’s Restaurant and Lounge in Albany. You can also get them at Brown Paper Tickets!

Tickets: $10 in advance for general admission; $13 at the door. VIP tickets (guaranteed front-row seating) are available at the door only, $15.  General admission advance tickets can be upgraded to VIP at the door for $3.  Kids 5 and under free!

Volunteers get in free!  For more information or to volunteer, e-mail (must be 18+)

Stars and Skates – a bout on January 18!

You all may remember that we canceled our season finale bout last December due to the uncharacteristic snow storm we received here in the Mid-Willamette Valley.  Well, we’ve rescheduled the bout and are happy to kick off the 2014 Season this coming Saturday at the Linn County Fair & Expo!

Our S*M*A*S*H Unit will take on Lava City Roller DollsMoulin Bruise.  This is the first time these two teams have met on the track, and we expect a good show.

Doors open – 5:00pm
Bout starts – 6:00pm

Appearances by Candy Stripers Junior Derby skaters. The Corvallis An Daire Academy of Irish Dance will perform before the bout starts (about 5:40pm), and hold a 50/50 raffle. The winning ticket takes home 50% of the money raised; the Irish Dancers take the other 50%.

This family-friendly event is all ages. As always, we’ll have food vendors, a beer garden provided by Ninkasi Brewing and 2 Towns Ciderhouse, sweet treats by Wildflour Confectionery, a merch table, a kids’ craft table, half-time fun, and more!

Advance tickets will be available at The Uprise skate shop in Corvallis, and JP’s JP’s Restaurant and Lounge in Albany.


Visit Brown Paper Tickets to purchase advance tickets.

RSVP at our Facebook Event Page for updates.


2013 Holiday Party and Award Ceremony

2013 Board of Directors.  Front Row- Rad Snarlz, Meat Candy, Scarlett Harlett, Stitches N Bones!, Way-Laid.  Back Row: Wilde Hysteria, HotBoxxx, Dixle Skullpopper, Frankie Stein, Syd Rock, Pain Cake, Land Tuna, Ms. Kitty LaRue

2013 Board of Directors. Front Row- Rae Snarlz, Meat Candy, Scarlett Harlett, Stitches N Bones!, Way-Laid. Back Row – Wilde Hysteria, HotBoxxx, Dixie Skullpopper, Frankie Stein, Syd Rock, Pain Cake, Land Tuna, Ms. Kitty LaRue

We had a lot to celebrate at our annual holiday party last month! Our league is growing by leaps and bounds thanks to our new Boot Camp program; our two teams are going strong; and we are now skating in our very own home[old ‘Roll and Bounce’ skating rink just north of Corvallis]. Sick Town had an amazing 2013, and we capped it off with a disco-themed party and some well-deserved awards.
2013 Trainers - HotBoxxx, CosMo Pain, Dixie Skullpopper, Shankee Doodle, Syd Rock, Land Tuna, Stitches N Bones!

2013 Trainers – HotBoxxx, CosMo Pain, Dixie Skullpopper, Shankee Doodle, Syd Rock, Land Tuna, Stitches N Bones!

In addition to recognizing all of the people who served the league this year — coaches, captains, trainers, board members, referees, and volunteers — we also gave awards that were voted on by the training committee, the teams, and the membership.
2013 Officials - Ren Stoek, Bad Daddy, CoRexHer

2013 Officials – Ren Stoek, Bad Daddy, CoRexHer

The training committee chose two skaters to recognize: Rae Snarlz as most improved, and Lubri-Kate as the fresh meat skater to watch out for. Snarlz has improved her confidence and stability, and has become one of the Dis-Orderlies’ go-to jammers. Lube completed boot camp and immediately showed that she’s a force to be reckoned with at fresh meat practices. We expect great things from both of these ladies!
2013 Officials - Sugar Cain, Naughty Hottie, Brazen Hussy, Udder Chaos, Lady V

2013 Officials – Sugar Cain, Naughty Hottie, Brazen Hussy, Udder Chaos, Lady V

 The Dis-Orderlies chose Block Jawz as MVP Blocker, and Witha Vengeance as MVP Jammer. Vengie is on S*M*A*S*H now, but she was a true asset to the DOs! Jawz is an up-and-coming skater and a relentless blocker.
DisOrderlies - Bones! (coach), AmyZing, Way-Laid, Kyllr Kervs, Brazen Hussy, Rae Snarlz, Dixie, Meat Candy, Thash Bandiscoot, Block Jawz, Ambo, Witha Vengeance

DisOrderlies – Bones! (coach), AmyZing, Way-Laid, Kyllr Kervs, Brazen Hussy, Rae Snarlz, Dixie, Meat Candy, Thash Bandiscoot, Block Jawz, Ambo, Witha Vengeance

The S*M*A*S*H Unit chose Pwnface Killa as MVP Blocker. A former team captain, Pwn is on a break from derby but we hope she’ll be back! The vote for MVP Jammer was evenly split between two amazing ladies, Stitches N Bones! and Miss Kitty LaRue. This could be the start of a friendly rivalry …
Front Row - Shankee Doodle, Land Tuna, Syd Rock, Luna Tix, Bones!, Swagger Jackie, Mutha Tucker, Pain Cake, Witha Vengeance.  Back Row - Risky Reignbow, Pwn Face Killa, HotBoxxx, Frankie Stein, Dylan Quint, Ms. Kitty LaRue, Wilde Hysteria

Front Row – Shankee Doodle, Land Tuna, Syd Rock, Luna Tix, Bones!, Swagger Jackie, Mutha Tucker, Pain Cake, Witha Vengeance. Back Row – Risky Reignbow, Pwn Face Killa, HotBoxxx, Frankie Stein, Dylan Quint, Ms. Kitty LaRue, Wilde Hysteria

Finally, the league voted on some fun awards. Miss Sick Town Derby Dames — an award for the skater who supports the league the most — went to Clucker Punch. Best Dressed went to Phoenix Stark. Scariest Bout Day Face was Bloodstain. Most True to Her Derby Name was Sunny With a Chance of Pain. Biggest Mouth (on the track) was Stitches N Bones!, and finally, the Bruiser Award (for the most inappropriate skater) was given to Block Jawz, with a surprise appearance by the award’s namesake, Back Alley Bruiser.
Sick Town loves karaoke!

Sick Town loves karaoke

We all ate too much, danced until our feet hurt, and got fired up for a fantastic 2014. Many thanks to all of the volunteers who made this party happen!
Special thanks to MacGroovy for all the photos.  And to his lovely wife for being so fantastic!

Special thanks to MacGroovy for all the photos. And to his lovely wife for being so fantastic!

Volunteer of the Month – Fisteria

Photo by Conan O' Spyin

Photo by Conan O’ Spyin

Interview by Phoenix Stark

1. First things first, how long have you been involved with derby and what piqued your interest?

I tried out for ECRG’s Bloomin’ Doom (their fresh meat team) in April (I think), 2010.  I didn’t even know there was a league in Corvallis at the time.  This was post Whip It, so I’d read a couple of articles about the modern derby revival and thought, “Hell, yeah!” Then I saw that they were having an orientation night and then try-outs a couple of weeks later, so I went for it.  I was a huge rink rat when I was a kid, but I hadn’t put skates on in probably 20 years when I showed up for their orientation.  Then I was driving to Springfield 3 nights a week, when someone told me about Sick Town.  I showed up the next week.  By then it was pretty clear that the time commitment was going to be a challenge (I had 2 small kids and a new job), so I thought I’d look into officiating as a way to be involved and on skates but with a more relaxed schedule.  Ironic, given how much time I spend on derby now!  Anyway, I started skating with the refs and never looked back.

2. How did you choose your name, what’s the story behind it?

Well, I wanted to be Dr. No No, but it was taken.  That was for the best really, because I’m just not a fan of puns.  I like that “Fisteria” is a feminist reclamation of “hysteria”, it sounds strong and only hints at violence.  It also shortens nicely to “Fist”.  But more than anything, it’s an Easter egg for my biology nerd friends, because the homophone Pfiesteria is a genus of dinoflagellate that produces a paralytic neurotoxin, and is responsible for massive fish kills from time to time.  It was, in fact, a biology nerd friend of mine who suggested it, and I knew immediately she’d nailed it.

3. OK…so, the rules. They’re pretty complicated, and we’ve seen some significant changes and clarifications recently. Is there a rule change that you would like to see?

More rules changes??  Haven’t we had enough lately?  I think we need to work with the rule set we have for a while and see how it shakes out.  I’m still trying to figure out some of it, and I’m sure we haven’t seen all the new strategies and tactics teams will use in response, yet.  Having said that, I think the increase in the number and impact of power jams is an unintended consequence of dropping minors, and I think there’ll be changes in the future to address it.  I would welcome that.

4. What do you think is one of the rules that people have the hardest time with? Is there a particular call you find yourself making a lot?

It really depends on the skater.  For fresh meat, what to do if you false start on the Jammer Line as a blocker is always a hard one, for some reason.  What you call as a skating official depends somewhat on what position you’re working.  I tend to work Inside Pack a lot, so I end up making calls like Destroying the Pack, and Failure(s) to Reform.  I like working the pack, and teams are really making a strategy out of pack dynamics lately, so there’s lots to call.

5. Now, hypothetically, if you could be an official for any away bout, do you have a dream location? Somewhere you’ve always wanted to go? Maybe a team you’ve always wanted to see?

Boy, that’s really 3 different questions.  The travelling part of away bouts isn’t usually that fun, so the closer the better.  I’d love to go to Nationals where ever they are, but not to work it, just to watch.  I’m actually really looking forward to travelling with our Junior league once they get to that point.  I love Jr. derby, and it’s fun to officiate, so that will be worth the travel.

6. What about your life outside of derby?

What about it?  I have 2 kids (an 8-year-old and a 5-year-old), a husband, and a full-time job.  I’m an aquatic ecologist and biologist working on endangered salmon and trout as part of the Columbia Habitat Monitoring and Assessment Program through NOAA.  I’m a coffee geek and home roaster, and I like to start knitting projects.  My mortal enemy is a ‘possum that keeps busting into my hen-house and killing my chicks.  Not eating them, mind you, just killing them.  Jerk.

7. Derby can be a pretty huge time commitment, what keeps you motivated and what makes it worth it?

I found in derby a great combination of athletics, community, and nerd core.

S*M*A*S*H Unit Skater of the Month – Swagger Jackie #H8


Sunny: How long have you been derbying? Gimme the deets!

Swagger Jackie: I have been derbying for close to 3 years already! Boy, does the time fly. I was an OG on Lava City’s Junior Roller derby team (based out of Bend, OR). I not only played with my two sisters, I was coached by my Mom, while my Dad refereed! I absolutely fell in love with the sport immediately and the fact that it was something I could do with my family made it all the better.

Sunny: What keeps you going, physically or mentally?

Swagger Jackie: I would say that my drive to be the best in everything I do keeps me going. I took nearly 10 months off of derby after I moved away for college. When I made my return, my endurance was not nearly at the level it used to be. My knowledge of strategy, rules etc. had also fallen by the wayside and so I think knowing the skater I used to be pushes me to not only get back to where I was, but surpass it.

Sunny: Favorite aspects of roller derby?

Swagger Jackie: The fact that it is for EVERYONE! Anyone who knows me knows that I can’t play sports to save my life. I’m also not good at branching out and making friends. Derby showed me that I CAN be athletic, and good at a sport. It also has allowed me to meet some of the most kick ass girls (and guys too!) that I would have never had the pleasure of meeting if I hadn’t joined derby.

Sunny: Story behind your name?

Swagger Jackie:  Oh man…. As a junior skater, I was Bridget Pwnz on the track (a spin-off of Bridget Jones.) As I was getting closer and closer to my 18th birthday, I realized that someone had not only registered my name… but also my number on the name registry. And they lived in Oregon! I was so mad… I had been skating as Bridget for over a year, and when I had come up with it, it was not registered. That woman had jacked my name! As my family and I joked about how I was “swagger jacked” we came up with Swagger Jackie. What’s the ultimate hate? To jack someone’s “swag”… hence my number: H8.

Sunny: Loved ones’ reactions to your derby involvement?

Swagger Jackie:  They loved it! My mom and I joined close to the same time… a few months later, both sisters were playing with me, and my dad was a ref! It’s the first time we’ve all found a common hobby that we enjoy, and I think it’s awesome how close we all are. We’re lifers.

Sunny:  Favorite unintended consequence of derby in your life?

Swagger Jackie:  To get totally cheesy… I would have to say meeting CoREXher. He is not just by teacher and my friend, but also my boyfriend. And I love him so very much. It’s nice that we can be totally obsessed with derby together.

Sunny:  How has roller derby changed your perspective on life or yourself?

Swagger Jackie:  It has made me so much more confident. I feel like I actually fit in somewhere, whereas most of my life I didn’t. It’s also shown me that it’s okay to be different, and has allowed me to really become much more open-minded. I am grateful for the realness derby brought to my life.

Sunny: Tips for new skaters or those who are thinking about getting into roller derby?

Swagger Jackie:

  • 1. No, it’s not like Whip It
  • 2. Do it.

Dis-Orderlies Skater of the Month – Rae Snarlz #87


Interview by Scarlett Harlett

1)      How did you find out about Sick Town, and what made you decide to give it a try?

In September of last year a few friends and I came to the fairgrounds for a beer tasting event. Coincidentally there was a bout going on at the same time, so we went and watched the second half. I was mesmerized by it all: the welcoming and eager to educate volunteers, the loyal fans, and most of all, the admirable athleticism, teamwork and communication skills of the players. Those traits are applicable not only in the sport of derby, but in life, and after watching that bout I knew I wanted to use derby as a way to improve those traits in myself.

2)      What goes on in your life outside of derby?

Outside of derby I go to school full-time, work as much as I can, and spend the rest of my time with my husband, family and friends. My life is busy but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

3)      Do you have any pre-scrimmage rituals to get you pumped up?

My only pre-scrimmage ritual is to arrive early and sit in my car to reflect and breathe through my nerves. Sometimes I try to visualize skills or strategies I want to try, to remind myself of the steps I need to take to accomplish them. After a few minutes of that I walk into scrimmage nervous, but ready for anything.

4)      What has derby taught you?

So far, the most important lesson that derby has reinforced for me is that nothing can be attained without HARD work. It was difficult for me to start this sport knowing nothing about it and having minimal skills for it. However with patience, practice, optimism and a few bruises, I’ve come this far and I am determined to continue improving my skills and celebrating my accomplishments.

5)      Blocker, Jammer, Pivot. Which part do you prefer to play more and why?

The more I practice, the more I prefer jamming. The adrenaline rush I get from breaking through a pack of opposing blockers mostly untouched is an addiction that I want to keep fueling.

6)      What is something that most people don’t know, or would never guess about you?

Well this is a little ironic, but most people would never guess that I play roller derby. I’m quiet and reserved, non-confrontational and small in size. People are shocked when I tell them, and then they’re excited!

7)      What is something you would like to accomplish in derby by the end of the year?

By the end of the year I hope to be more confident in all of my skating skills, have a dynamic understanding of all of my team’s strategies, and to have competed in several bouts.

8)      What are the most common misconceptions about roller derby or the skaters?

The most common assumption that I get questions about are how much of it is “staged” or just for show. My response: none of it. It’s a sport that takes precision skill, athleticism and teamwork. I encourage those that question it to come and watch.

9)      Everyone in the league plays important roles and pitch in to make the league run. What do you do, other than be awesome on your skates?

I’m very excited to share that I recently took on the position of “Sponsorship Coordinator” for the league. I will be looking for future potential sponsors, as well as maintaining strong relationships with our current sponsors. I am proud to be contributing to the success of our league. We wouldn’t all be able to play this sport we love without everyone’s help.

10)  Do you see yourself still playing derby 5, 10 years from now?

As long as I am physically able, I will be playing derby!